And So...

I do believe all babies are a beautiful and wonderful thing. Most women have a hard time carrying them, some have trouble conceiving, few can only dream. I have been looking at the news and just looking at how people are gushing over the new royal baby that has been born and I can't help but to think, "Awww....so cute...okay let's move on". Why is there so much emphasis and hoopla over babies who are born to those who are celebrities or in high society. I get more excited for a mother or a celebrity mom who gave birth to a child they never thought they could have. I well up with tears of joy for moms who have undergone traumatic events and still became awesome moms. I just don't get the whole spotlight on a baby's name, first appearance, or whether or not a baby was even conceived naturally (cue Beyonce and Jay-Z) because they are in the spotlight. How about a little dramatics going to kids in the system? A little more empathy towards kids with disabilities? What about kids in general? Remember it takes a village to raise a child? I am just saying....

Your Body Was Not Made To Look Like That!!

Women sometimes wear corsets for long periods for that "hourglass" figure

Looking at before and after photos of people who lost weight, what do you see? Amazing results, right? What about the not so amazing results? You know the kind where the person looks almost skin and bones and they are just smiling in their "after" picture. What else do you notice? The "before" photo wasn't as bad as the person tries to let on, when all they really needed to do was tone it up. You know, the pictures that you look at and think, "This girl just wanted to show us how great she looked before and after."

We all want to look gorgeous and turn heads. But there are times when women will go to extreme measures to do things that their bodies are not meant to do. Example: lip injections, breast implants, butt shots, tummy tucks, just to name a few. I'm not promoting that these are good alternatives to putting in work but I'm saying that not all women who go this route look good with these types of procedures. More so, there are even more dangerous extremes that women go through to get the body they want to please America as the "norm".  Those are eating disorders Bulimia and Anorexia, and Binge Eating. These are NOT to be attempted not only because the risk of death, but also because of the damage it can cause to the organs in the body, the emotional toll on oneself and their families, and the psychological impact that it has. It's not worth it to be super skinny IMO.

Same thing with our everyday diet and exercise. If one is not careful it can become extreme. We all have our genetic make up. Everyone is not to be a size 0. Everyone is not meant to be a thick chick. You can workout for 30 minutes every day and see results. You can workout for 2 hours and see results but also can risk injury and exhaustion. You can eat sensibly and see the weight come off and stay away permanently. As well as you can damn near starve yourself and see the weight come off extremely fast but end up on an eating binge, gaining back the pounds and then some in the process.

Real women with real curves

Ladies, we cannot look towards the media to dictate what beauty should be. Itty Bitty Skinny isn't always it. Star Jones was the prime example of when drastic weight loss does not look right. She looked sick, and unhealthy. Glad she decided to gain some weight back. Jill Scott, Jennifer Hudson are women who lost weight and still look fantastic.

Find out what your BMI (body mass index) and weight for YOUR height should be. That should be your guide line, not the end all be all. If your head becomes bigger than your body, then suga you have lost too much, ya hear? Lol.  Look at these body shapes here below. These are realistic goals for the most part. Don't think to be healthy you have to be a Skinny Minnie. Women like Queen Latifah, go to the gym often and still are voluptuous women because that is their body make up. Don't be afraid to create a goal that looks good for you, not for society's sake.

 

I can say that I truly have done what I said I would

My Christmas present!!

http://instagr.am/p/UEHRiNP6KL/

Emotional Toxins.

Do you find yourself reminiscing about events that have occurred at least 5 years ago that still makes you hot today? Do you have a list of people who, if they even looked your way, would cause you to jump over the nearest counter? How about the "I forgive them but I still don't like them" phrase? Darling, that is emotional toxins and you have to learn to let it go or let it consume you.

Most times we are controlled by our environments. We grow up around people who are angry at life, who have experienced hardships in their upbringing that causes them to react emotionally. They felt jilted and unbeknownst to them, we watched and listened and picked up those bad habits. We learned that it was okay to be a victim. It was alright to hold the past over the ones who has hurt us heads like a mistletoe during Christmas time. It was okay to lose relationships over frivolous things. But truth be told, it's not. It never was.

I am not talking about something serious as rape, murder, etc. I am referring to the disagreements we have with people. I am talking about that fight with your best friend that caused you two to not to talk for a month. I am talking about the check out error at your favorite grocery store by the clerk who was having a bad day. I am speaking on letting our emotions get the best of us and then because the guilt is there, justifying that guilt by saying "But they did this to me".

Family often says that I forgive easily. I don't think I forgive so much as I have learned what is important to me. I learned that no one owes anyone a thing, No apologies, no excuses. Really, those who don't feel as though they have done anything wrong won't feel guilty anyway. I do for people because I want to. It's what I have in my heart and if it is not reciprocated, I am okay with that. I think those who complain about how they are a good person and are always there for others but no one is ever there for them are looking for some type of recognition and they are setting themselves up for unnecessary disappointment.

Don't get me wrong, I initially do get upset when someone I have high respect for doesn't give back the same. But then I come to understand of how that person operates in their own circle and decide if I really want to continue with them. I don't forget, a person never forgets, I just don't let the past consume my current thinking. I feel as though we get so caught up on the anger that we lose sight that all of that time memorializing bad situations is wasted when it could be spent on something else. That is emotional toxins!

One of my sisters can not be out in public and see her  many "enemies" without wanting to fight. She makes comments and rolls her eyes as if that person is purposely where she is to bother her. Her whole demeanor changes. You can see it all in her face and in her walk. She has to get a cigarette. Yes, it can get that serious. I have tried to tell her several times that no matter what that person has done, it should not have that much control over you.  You should not get so upset that it ruins your whole day. I can walk past people I am not fond of and smile, not have the Hulk complex. She never listens, her emotional toxins are too high.

Another example, another family member. They have been divorced from their ex for almost 30 years. The ex is no longer living  HOWEVER, this lovely family member of mine talks about the ex every chance they get. Hates the ex to their core. Everyone in the family can recite the stories by heart, that is how strong the hate is. The ex can not rest in peace. And yes this family member has been remarried for almost 30 years. Again this family member is so consumed with anger that it does not allow them to see that it is pointless to carry on that burden of hate. It's too much energy and having to remind yourself why you are upset with someone is a buzz kill to enjoying life. 

That stress you are causing on your heart by holding on to bull? It can lead to a stroke and a heart attack. And guess where those people who ticked you off are going to be? Alive and well. Dead and gone. What can you do to let go of the toxins?  The next time you get upset with someone, once you are level headed again think about the situation. Did you say everything that you wanted to? Did you mean everything that you did say? How do you honestly feel after you said your piece? Was it resolved or has it become a bigger issue? Emotional toxins leave you feeling angry even after you have calmed down to think. Emotional toxins cause you feeling ready to go for round 2. Emotional toxins are emotional traps that become emotional roller coasters. Meaning: you are cool with someone, that person abuses your trust, now you can not stand their living being. This is a cycle that continues with everyone you meet.

I grew up seeing that these cycles leave many of my loved ones empty and without those people they love deep down in their lives.  Because emotional toxins have such a heavy load, it causes people who want to be around you refrain from doing so because they feel they are going to be on the next chapter of your raft. I never want to feel like that. It's a painful cycle to witness. It's like looking at your loved one continuously rip the scab off of a sore that is trying to heal. That is not a way to live.

If you looked at any of the questions I asked before and feel some sort of , "I could have handled that better", then congrats. You don't carry emotional toxins and you are one of the many who can/will eventually go back to the person you had a falling out with and have a civil talk. If not, then darling it isn't too late to let go and be at peace. It's not to late to clear the air and release tensions and toxins.

Hugs Sugas