Journaling.

The funny thing about having relationships with people; family, friends, strangers is that in today's age you really don't know who to trust. People are so caught up on their own emotions that they don't use words in a positive and productive manner, they rather use their words for slander, to slaughter a person's character. Instead of coming together and having a meeting of the minds, there are words of violence, of hatred and the ego takes over. How do you come to point where you can create a bond that  was broken?

I have been trying to understand why there are families who are built that way and why they can not get over the "generational curse". It boggles my mind especially when it goes on in my own family. I wanted nothing more but to have that Huxtable family, the Brady Bunch (minus the incest) life. Sadly, I have gotten over that fantasy.

I understand that in order for me to have a beautiful relationship with people in my life, I have to create my own circle of loving and caring folks and the people who are not for you, you have to leave them behind until they are able to catch up. We can not allow what other people's hang ups are to stop you from having a very loving life. No everyone isn't perfect, but some shit  is for the birds and people who are constantly in a state of chaos should not be there period.

Kim&Kanye ~ Why Do You Care So Much?

So they got together and had North. They are engaged. They did a music video together showcasing their love. Now there is a Vogue cover with them on it. People are outraged. Really?? I seriously don't care about what they do. I do not know them personally, I have not a dime invested in them. But still, these two are always in someone's mouth. Let's get real for a minute shall we:

When life gives you lemons: Make the best damn lemonade possible!

I think know that Kim did not get a fair shake when that video came out. If she had not come out in the video, many would not care about the television show "Keeping up with the Kardashians", she would have just been another round the way chick who happened to get a television deal.  Since it did happen however, society looks for every reason and opportunity to find fault in her and her family. She took advantage of the way she was exposed and decided to take negative situation and turn it into a positive.

I like Kanye. If you really sit and listen to him talk in the video below you will see, not someone unstable but someone who isn't a rapper but a man trying to go about his life. He is intelligent. He is always ranting and raving because he is always on edge. He can't even have a decent interview without someone saying something rude or bring up his past blow up. Check out his other videos and you will see what he wants to accomplish in life but can get a fair shake because people judge (as often do) before they really get a chance to talk to him.

I do not own this video

I know many will not agree with me and that is cool. But I think when people are quick to judge based on what someone else WANTS them to see then it's wrong and unfair. These two, as well as other celebs, I am sure, are getting paid off of the hatred that many expose to them on a daily basis. And while the money maybe good, it does affect them emotionally because instead of looking at their craft, at their gift, their moments of weaknesses are what's being televised, what's making news. It seems that in today's world you are no body unless you are hated. I rather be loved and just a normal person than to be someone who is popular and hated by everyone. As the saying goes,  when it comes to popularity, it all falls down.

Fly

That day when you decide to leave it all behind. The day you decide that you will no longer listen to the lies. The day you are tired of migraines and tension between your brows because you feel compelled to solve problems that are not of your own. The day when you decide to take back the life you never got to live because you were not allowed to be a kid but was expected to understand adult situations. One day, you have to get a grasp on things before you lose yourself into oblivion. You have to distance yourself from those who are still in turmoil, those who like to see confusion in your life as well as within your family. You have to back away from "friends" who secretly despise your existence because they see the greatness in you that you may not see in yourself. You have to reach into your inner being and focus on what is it and where it is that you want to leave your mark. You are not getting any younger but older and with that is suppose to be a surge of wisdom. The day you decide to live for you and to have what you see as a new beginning. The day you decide to take that plunge on a new job or degree. The day you decide to give pup what is harmful to you is the day you decide to get off the edge and FLY.

Eating Good: Portion Control, My Story

So yeah. 

Been on this adventure to lose weight. Again. I had not been as successful as I had in the past. With all the information you about eating you can devour (no pun intended, lol)  over the internet nowadays, it is a wonder any of us have lost weight at all. Back to my story. So I was exercising and eating better and exercising and eating better. Yet, I only lost maybe 3 lbs before it stalled. Then I switched birth control pills and the weight went back up. SUCKS!!! Now in the past, I would have given up and drowned my sorrows (and waist line) in food and whined, "DAMN GENETICS" while still trying to fit in clothes from 3 pregnancies ago.

WELL……about 3 days ago, I drunk a cup of 3 Ballerinas Tea (which I don't think I can recommend, but that will come at a later date as to why). And after a severe migraine, I thought, "There truly has to be a better way for me". Some people are very fortunate to lose weight like that *snaps fingers*, some can stop eating certain foods and the weight just falls off. And some go the route of weight loss surgery. Well, I like food. I have counted calories, I have restricted some foods. Hell, I have even done a challenged to go vegetarian for 21 days, which lasted only 18 days after getting serious headaches repeatedly. That shit is not for the faint of heart. You have to have serious dedication or at least in my opinion a need to have some form of control in your life that is missing somewhere else. 

After I contemplated whether I was going to die or not and having my lovely husband get me an advil, I felt better and decided that I will do watch not what I eat but HOW MUCH I eat. 3 days later? So far so good. I lost a 1 lb. by switching the types of dishes I used to serve my food from larger ones to smaller ones.  And if I snack, I don't mindlessly snack, I have the serving size of chocolate or ice cream and that is it. No double dipping. I also listen to my body. Unless I'm dry heaving from hunger or so disillusioned where I mistake my living as the kitchen, then there is not need for me to eat every time my kids eat, or because the food is just there.

The trick is to "trick" your eyes into looking at food on a different scale. When we go to asian restaurants, we often are served rice in bowls. That bowl is usually the recommended serving size of 1 cup. Now if you put that rice in the standard restaurant plate which is 11 in., that 1 cup of rice might look mighty small. And so far for me, I do get a sense of "fullness" just by switching plate sizes. I don't feel like I am about to burst wide open nor do I have the beloved it is. In short, it has been working. Now I do not know how long I will keep this up. I am planning to make this a lifetime lifestyle. I can still eat what I want in moderation. I'm not denying myself. And when my body says "when", I know that I have gotten enough to eat.

Here is a great video on portions.

This gives you an idea of the sizes that were used around the 50's (she says the year in the video) vs the size of plates that are used today.

Here is a video on portion control: She breaks it down here (lengthy video)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fl3Pj_Q_cWM

This video is for those of you who maybe interested but need a visual.

I will be checking back in soon to give updates but as of right now, I am about to kick back and drink this tea and feel great. lol

Learning To Be Free

Hmmmm……Been away for a minute.

Did not want to write. Not because I did not have anything to write about. Not because I just got tired or just really hated writing. Nope. None of those reasons. Wish it was one of those things. It would make what I am about to confess easier.

I wanted to have views, followers, popularity and in my mind, I felt the need to be politically correct. I felt that I needed to tip toe around what I really feel to make my potential viewers comfortable, to be more likable. The crazy thing about all of this is that I usually do not care what others think, or feel about me because I do things according to my views and how I feel, unfortunately, this was not one of them. I think people see through you even in writing because I have views but not much. I have gained a little momentum on my Facebook group page but it has been the same people since I made the page last year.  And honestly, it all feels fake. So why in the hell did I feel the need to do that in the first place? Simple. In the real world, OUTSIDE of this virtual community that we have, I am the woman that doesn't follow the herd like mentality. If I don't agree with the masses, I JUST DO NOT AGREE, PERIOD. I tend to lean on facts than outright emotions. AND that sometimes, does not win me fans. And I am accepting that it is really okay to not have a big fanfare.

I decided to do my blog a little different. The way it should have been done in the first place. From the heart, from the mind. Without thinking of how to put things in a way as to be gentle as a lamb and to be soothing as ocean's waves as to not hurt anyone's feelings or make anyone feel uneasy. My blog is to make you think, feel, react (in a positive manner, I'm hoping), and hopefully uplift and awake you to your full potential, whether you like it or not.

Welcome to my inner thoughts.

And So...

I do believe all babies are a beautiful and wonderful thing. Most women have a hard time carrying them, some have trouble conceiving, few can only dream. I have been looking at the news and just looking at how people are gushing over the new royal baby that has been born and I can't help but to think, "Awww....so cute...okay let's move on". Why is there so much emphasis and hoopla over babies who are born to those who are celebrities or in high society. I get more excited for a mother or a celebrity mom who gave birth to a child they never thought they could have. I well up with tears of joy for moms who have undergone traumatic events and still became awesome moms. I just don't get the whole spotlight on a baby's name, first appearance, or whether or not a baby was even conceived naturally (cue Beyonce and Jay-Z) because they are in the spotlight. How about a little dramatics going to kids in the system? A little more empathy towards kids with disabilities? What about kids in general? Remember it takes a village to raise a child? I am just saying....

Your Body Was Not Made To Look Like That!!

Women sometimes wear corsets for long periods for that "hourglass" figure

Looking at before and after photos of people who lost weight, what do you see? Amazing results, right? What about the not so amazing results? You know the kind where the person looks almost skin and bones and they are just smiling in their "after" picture. What else do you notice? The "before" photo wasn't as bad as the person tries to let on, when all they really needed to do was tone it up. You know, the pictures that you look at and think, "This girl just wanted to show us how great she looked before and after."

We all want to look gorgeous and turn heads. But there are times when women will go to extreme measures to do things that their bodies are not meant to do. Example: lip injections, breast implants, butt shots, tummy tucks, just to name a few. I'm not promoting that these are good alternatives to putting in work but I'm saying that not all women who go this route look good with these types of procedures. More so, there are even more dangerous extremes that women go through to get the body they want to please America as the "norm".  Those are eating disorders Bulimia and Anorexia, and Binge Eating. These are NOT to be attempted not only because the risk of death, but also because of the damage it can cause to the organs in the body, the emotional toll on oneself and their families, and the psychological impact that it has. It's not worth it to be super skinny IMO.

Same thing with our everyday diet and exercise. If one is not careful it can become extreme. We all have our genetic make up. Everyone is not to be a size 0. Everyone is not meant to be a thick chick. You can workout for 30 minutes every day and see results. You can workout for 2 hours and see results but also can risk injury and exhaustion. You can eat sensibly and see the weight come off and stay away permanently. As well as you can damn near starve yourself and see the weight come off extremely fast but end up on an eating binge, gaining back the pounds and then some in the process.

Real women with real curves

Ladies, we cannot look towards the media to dictate what beauty should be. Itty Bitty Skinny isn't always it. Star Jones was the prime example of when drastic weight loss does not look right. She looked sick, and unhealthy. Glad she decided to gain some weight back. Jill Scott, Jennifer Hudson are women who lost weight and still look fantastic.

Find out what your BMI (body mass index) and weight for YOUR height should be. That should be your guide line, not the end all be all. If your head becomes bigger than your body, then suga you have lost too much, ya hear? Lol.  Look at these body shapes here below. These are realistic goals for the most part. Don't think to be healthy you have to be a Skinny Minnie. Women like Queen Latifah, go to the gym often and still are voluptuous women because that is their body make up. Don't be afraid to create a goal that looks good for you, not for society's sake.