Journaling.

The funny thing about having relationships with people; family, friends, strangers is that in today's age you really don't know who to trust. People are so caught up on their own emotions that they don't use words in a positive and productive manner, they rather use their words for slander, to slaughter a person's character. Instead of coming together and having a meeting of the minds, there are words of violence, of hatred and the ego takes over. How do you come to point where you can create a bond that  was broken?

I have been trying to understand why there are families who are built that way and why they can not get over the "generational curse". It boggles my mind especially when it goes on in my own family. I wanted nothing more but to have that Huxtable family, the Brady Bunch (minus the incest) life. Sadly, I have gotten over that fantasy.

I understand that in order for me to have a beautiful relationship with people in my life, I have to create my own circle of loving and caring folks and the people who are not for you, you have to leave them behind until they are able to catch up. We can not allow what other people's hang ups are to stop you from having a very loving life. No everyone isn't perfect, but some shit  is for the birds and people who are constantly in a state of chaos should not be there period.

Kim&Kanye ~ Why Do You Care So Much?

So they got together and had North. They are engaged. They did a music video together showcasing their love. Now there is a Vogue cover with them on it. People are outraged. Really?? I seriously don't care about what they do. I do not know them personally, I have not a dime invested in them. But still, these two are always in someone's mouth. Let's get real for a minute shall we:

When life gives you lemons: Make the best damn lemonade possible!

I think know that Kim did not get a fair shake when that video came out. If she had not come out in the video, many would not care about the television show "Keeping up with the Kardashians", she would have just been another round the way chick who happened to get a television deal.  Since it did happen however, society looks for every reason and opportunity to find fault in her and her family. She took advantage of the way she was exposed and decided to take negative situation and turn it into a positive.

I like Kanye. If you really sit and listen to him talk in the video below you will see, not someone unstable but someone who isn't a rapper but a man trying to go about his life. He is intelligent. He is always ranting and raving because he is always on edge. He can't even have a decent interview without someone saying something rude or bring up his past blow up. Check out his other videos and you will see what he wants to accomplish in life but can get a fair shake because people judge (as often do) before they really get a chance to talk to him.

I do not own this video

I know many will not agree with me and that is cool. But I think when people are quick to judge based on what someone else WANTS them to see then it's wrong and unfair. These two, as well as other celebs, I am sure, are getting paid off of the hatred that many expose to them on a daily basis. And while the money maybe good, it does affect them emotionally because instead of looking at their craft, at their gift, their moments of weaknesses are what's being televised, what's making news. It seems that in today's world you are no body unless you are hated. I rather be loved and just a normal person than to be someone who is popular and hated by everyone. As the saying goes,  when it comes to popularity, it all falls down.

Fly

That day when you decide to leave it all behind. The day you decide that you will no longer listen to the lies. The day you are tired of migraines and tension between your brows because you feel compelled to solve problems that are not of your own. The day when you decide to take back the life you never got to live because you were not allowed to be a kid but was expected to understand adult situations. One day, you have to get a grasp on things before you lose yourself into oblivion. You have to distance yourself from those who are still in turmoil, those who like to see confusion in your life as well as within your family. You have to back away from "friends" who secretly despise your existence because they see the greatness in you that you may not see in yourself. You have to reach into your inner being and focus on what is it and where it is that you want to leave your mark. You are not getting any younger but older and with that is suppose to be a surge of wisdom. The day you decide to live for you and to have what you see as a new beginning. The day you decide to take that plunge on a new job or degree. The day you decide to give pup what is harmful to you is the day you decide to get off the edge and FLY.

Eating Good: Portion Control, My Story

So yeah. 

Been on this adventure to lose weight. Again. I had not been as successful as I had in the past. With all the information you about eating you can devour (no pun intended, lol)  over the internet nowadays, it is a wonder any of us have lost weight at all. Back to my story. So I was exercising and eating better and exercising and eating better. Yet, I only lost maybe 3 lbs before it stalled. Then I switched birth control pills and the weight went back up. SUCKS!!! Now in the past, I would have given up and drowned my sorrows (and waist line) in food and whined, "DAMN GENETICS" while still trying to fit in clothes from 3 pregnancies ago.

WELL……about 3 days ago, I drunk a cup of 3 Ballerinas Tea (which I don't think I can recommend, but that will come at a later date as to why). And after a severe migraine, I thought, "There truly has to be a better way for me". Some people are very fortunate to lose weight like that *snaps fingers*, some can stop eating certain foods and the weight just falls off. And some go the route of weight loss surgery. Well, I like food. I have counted calories, I have restricted some foods. Hell, I have even done a challenged to go vegetarian for 21 days, which lasted only 18 days after getting serious headaches repeatedly. That shit is not for the faint of heart. You have to have serious dedication or at least in my opinion a need to have some form of control in your life that is missing somewhere else. 

After I contemplated whether I was going to die or not and having my lovely husband get me an advil, I felt better and decided that I will do watch not what I eat but HOW MUCH I eat. 3 days later? So far so good. I lost a 1 lb. by switching the types of dishes I used to serve my food from larger ones to smaller ones.  And if I snack, I don't mindlessly snack, I have the serving size of chocolate or ice cream and that is it. No double dipping. I also listen to my body. Unless I'm dry heaving from hunger or so disillusioned where I mistake my living as the kitchen, then there is not need for me to eat every time my kids eat, or because the food is just there.

The trick is to "trick" your eyes into looking at food on a different scale. When we go to asian restaurants, we often are served rice in bowls. That bowl is usually the recommended serving size of 1 cup. Now if you put that rice in the standard restaurant plate which is 11 in., that 1 cup of rice might look mighty small. And so far for me, I do get a sense of "fullness" just by switching plate sizes. I don't feel like I am about to burst wide open nor do I have the beloved it is. In short, it has been working. Now I do not know how long I will keep this up. I am planning to make this a lifetime lifestyle. I can still eat what I want in moderation. I'm not denying myself. And when my body says "when", I know that I have gotten enough to eat.

Here is a great video on portions.

This gives you an idea of the sizes that were used around the 50's (she says the year in the video) vs the size of plates that are used today.

Here is a video on portion control: She breaks it down here (lengthy video)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fl3Pj_Q_cWM

This video is for those of you who maybe interested but need a visual.

I will be checking back in soon to give updates but as of right now, I am about to kick back and drink this tea and feel great. lol

Learning To Be Free

Hmmmm……Been away for a minute.

Did not want to write. Not because I did not have anything to write about. Not because I just got tired or just really hated writing. Nope. None of those reasons. Wish it was one of those things. It would make what I am about to confess easier.

I wanted to have views, followers, popularity and in my mind, I felt the need to be politically correct. I felt that I needed to tip toe around what I really feel to make my potential viewers comfortable, to be more likable. The crazy thing about all of this is that I usually do not care what others think, or feel about me because I do things according to my views and how I feel, unfortunately, this was not one of them. I think people see through you even in writing because I have views but not much. I have gained a little momentum on my Facebook group page but it has been the same people since I made the page last year.  And honestly, it all feels fake. So why in the hell did I feel the need to do that in the first place? Simple. In the real world, OUTSIDE of this virtual community that we have, I am the woman that doesn't follow the herd like mentality. If I don't agree with the masses, I JUST DO NOT AGREE, PERIOD. I tend to lean on facts than outright emotions. AND that sometimes, does not win me fans. And I am accepting that it is really okay to not have a big fanfare.

I decided to do my blog a little different. The way it should have been done in the first place. From the heart, from the mind. Without thinking of how to put things in a way as to be gentle as a lamb and to be soothing as ocean's waves as to not hurt anyone's feelings or make anyone feel uneasy. My blog is to make you think, feel, react (in a positive manner, I'm hoping), and hopefully uplift and awake you to your full potential, whether you like it or not.

Welcome to my inner thoughts.

And So...

I do believe all babies are a beautiful and wonderful thing. Most women have a hard time carrying them, some have trouble conceiving, few can only dream. I have been looking at the news and just looking at how people are gushing over the new royal baby that has been born and I can't help but to think, "Awww....so cute...okay let's move on". Why is there so much emphasis and hoopla over babies who are born to those who are celebrities or in high society. I get more excited for a mother or a celebrity mom who gave birth to a child they never thought they could have. I well up with tears of joy for moms who have undergone traumatic events and still became awesome moms. I just don't get the whole spotlight on a baby's name, first appearance, or whether or not a baby was even conceived naturally (cue Beyonce and Jay-Z) because they are in the spotlight. How about a little dramatics going to kids in the system? A little more empathy towards kids with disabilities? What about kids in general? Remember it takes a village to raise a child? I am just saying....

Your Body Was Not Made To Look Like That!!

Women sometimes wear corsets for long periods for that "hourglass" figure

Looking at before and after photos of people who lost weight, what do you see? Amazing results, right? What about the not so amazing results? You know the kind where the person looks almost skin and bones and they are just smiling in their "after" picture. What else do you notice? The "before" photo wasn't as bad as the person tries to let on, when all they really needed to do was tone it up. You know, the pictures that you look at and think, "This girl just wanted to show us how great she looked before and after."

We all want to look gorgeous and turn heads. But there are times when women will go to extreme measures to do things that their bodies are not meant to do. Example: lip injections, breast implants, butt shots, tummy tucks, just to name a few. I'm not promoting that these are good alternatives to putting in work but I'm saying that not all women who go this route look good with these types of procedures. More so, there are even more dangerous extremes that women go through to get the body they want to please America as the "norm".  Those are eating disorders Bulimia and Anorexia, and Binge Eating. These are NOT to be attempted not only because the risk of death, but also because of the damage it can cause to the organs in the body, the emotional toll on oneself and their families, and the psychological impact that it has. It's not worth it to be super skinny IMO.

Same thing with our everyday diet and exercise. If one is not careful it can become extreme. We all have our genetic make up. Everyone is not to be a size 0. Everyone is not meant to be a thick chick. You can workout for 30 minutes every day and see results. You can workout for 2 hours and see results but also can risk injury and exhaustion. You can eat sensibly and see the weight come off and stay away permanently. As well as you can damn near starve yourself and see the weight come off extremely fast but end up on an eating binge, gaining back the pounds and then some in the process.

Real women with real curves

Ladies, we cannot look towards the media to dictate what beauty should be. Itty Bitty Skinny isn't always it. Star Jones was the prime example of when drastic weight loss does not look right. She looked sick, and unhealthy. Glad she decided to gain some weight back. Jill Scott, Jennifer Hudson are women who lost weight and still look fantastic.

Find out what your BMI (body mass index) and weight for YOUR height should be. That should be your guide line, not the end all be all. If your head becomes bigger than your body, then suga you have lost too much, ya hear? Lol.  Look at these body shapes here below. These are realistic goals for the most part. Don't think to be healthy you have to be a Skinny Minnie. Women like Queen Latifah, go to the gym often and still are voluptuous women because that is their body make up. Don't be afraid to create a goal that looks good for you, not for society's sake.

 

I can say that I truly have done what I said I would

My Christmas present!!

http://instagr.am/p/UEHRiNP6KL/

Emotional Toxins.

Do you find yourself reminiscing about events that have occurred at least 5 years ago that still makes you hot today? Do you have a list of people who, if they even looked your way, would cause you to jump over the nearest counter? How about the "I forgive them but I still don't like them" phrase? Darling, that is emotional toxins and you have to learn to let it go or let it consume you.

Most times we are controlled by our environments. We grow up around people who are angry at life, who have experienced hardships in their upbringing that causes them to react emotionally. They felt jilted and unbeknownst to them, we watched and listened and picked up those bad habits. We learned that it was okay to be a victim. It was alright to hold the past over the ones who has hurt us heads like a mistletoe during Christmas time. It was okay to lose relationships over frivolous things. But truth be told, it's not. It never was.

I am not talking about something serious as rape, murder, etc. I am referring to the disagreements we have with people. I am talking about that fight with your best friend that caused you two to not to talk for a month. I am talking about the check out error at your favorite grocery store by the clerk who was having a bad day. I am speaking on letting our emotions get the best of us and then because the guilt is there, justifying that guilt by saying "But they did this to me".

Family often says that I forgive easily. I don't think I forgive so much as I have learned what is important to me. I learned that no one owes anyone a thing, No apologies, no excuses. Really, those who don't feel as though they have done anything wrong won't feel guilty anyway. I do for people because I want to. It's what I have in my heart and if it is not reciprocated, I am okay with that. I think those who complain about how they are a good person and are always there for others but no one is ever there for them are looking for some type of recognition and they are setting themselves up for unnecessary disappointment.

Don't get me wrong, I initially do get upset when someone I have high respect for doesn't give back the same. But then I come to understand of how that person operates in their own circle and decide if I really want to continue with them. I don't forget, a person never forgets, I just don't let the past consume my current thinking. I feel as though we get so caught up on the anger that we lose sight that all of that time memorializing bad situations is wasted when it could be spent on something else. That is emotional toxins!

One of my sisters can not be out in public and see her  many "enemies" without wanting to fight. She makes comments and rolls her eyes as if that person is purposely where she is to bother her. Her whole demeanor changes. You can see it all in her face and in her walk. She has to get a cigarette. Yes, it can get that serious. I have tried to tell her several times that no matter what that person has done, it should not have that much control over you.  You should not get so upset that it ruins your whole day. I can walk past people I am not fond of and smile, not have the Hulk complex. She never listens, her emotional toxins are too high.

Another example, another family member. They have been divorced from their ex for almost 30 years. The ex is no longer living  HOWEVER, this lovely family member of mine talks about the ex every chance they get. Hates the ex to their core. Everyone in the family can recite the stories by heart, that is how strong the hate is. The ex can not rest in peace. And yes this family member has been remarried for almost 30 years. Again this family member is so consumed with anger that it does not allow them to see that it is pointless to carry on that burden of hate. It's too much energy and having to remind yourself why you are upset with someone is a buzz kill to enjoying life. 

That stress you are causing on your heart by holding on to bull? It can lead to a stroke and a heart attack. And guess where those people who ticked you off are going to be? Alive and well. Dead and gone. What can you do to let go of the toxins?  The next time you get upset with someone, once you are level headed again think about the situation. Did you say everything that you wanted to? Did you mean everything that you did say? How do you honestly feel after you said your piece? Was it resolved or has it become a bigger issue? Emotional toxins leave you feeling angry even after you have calmed down to think. Emotional toxins cause you feeling ready to go for round 2. Emotional toxins are emotional traps that become emotional roller coasters. Meaning: you are cool with someone, that person abuses your trust, now you can not stand their living being. This is a cycle that continues with everyone you meet.

I grew up seeing that these cycles leave many of my loved ones empty and without those people they love deep down in their lives.  Because emotional toxins have such a heavy load, it causes people who want to be around you refrain from doing so because they feel they are going to be on the next chapter of your raft. I never want to feel like that. It's a painful cycle to witness. It's like looking at your loved one continuously rip the scab off of a sore that is trying to heal. That is not a way to live.

If you looked at any of the questions I asked before and feel some sort of , "I could have handled that better", then congrats. You don't carry emotional toxins and you are one of the many who can/will eventually go back to the person you had a falling out with and have a civil talk. If not, then darling it isn't too late to let go and be at peace. It's not to late to clear the air and release tensions and toxins.

Hugs Sugas

Supreme 90 vs P90x Chest and Back

I have over twenty workout DVDs in my cd wallet for easy access and rotation. I believe you should have different types of workouts so you don't end up getting bored. I also believe those workouts should be something that you will enjoy. Moving on...

The point of this post is to compare the Chest and Back disc of P90X to that of the Chest and Back of Supreme 90. While the two discs seem to be similar, they are noticeably different also. Both are pretty intense and it boils down to the individual's preference.

P90X Chest and Back:

Instructor
Tony Horton is the instructor who will be walking you through the workouts. He demonstrates how each workout is to be performed and puts strong emphasis on form over performance so you will not injure yourself. He tells you to go at your own pace and don't worry if you can not complete a specific workout with high numbers. For him, it's about the quality not the quantity. I like that he does the workouts to completion with his team instead of walking around the entire DVD talking.

Equipment

You will need dumbbells and either a pull up bar or a band. I used 3lb dumbbells for the workouts that required the pull up bar/band. If you don't have those two extras, you can find them at a decent price on Amazon.com (I love that place).

Workouts is as follows
 Standard Push-ups
 Wide Front Pull-ups
 Military Push-ups
 Reverse Grip Chin-ups
 Wide Fly Push-Ups
 Closed Grip Overhand Pull-ups
 Decline Push-ups
 Heavy Pants
 Diamond Push-ups
 Lawnmower
 Dive Bomb
 Push-ups
 Back Flys

The length of the workout is almost 53 minutes. The program has a timer to let you know how much time you have left. This workout does include a warm up and cool down.

Supreme 90: Chest and Back

Instructor

Tom Holland is the instructor of this program who will be literally walking you through the program. He does not participate in the workouts on here. In fact, he isn't even dressed to be working out. He does put emphasis on going at your own pace but that is hard to do when you have two of the three team members looking as though they are having their own personal race against one another. It's fast paced, so if you are not familiar with the workouts, these routines will seem too much. He doesn't talk about form. He show you one or two moves before beginning each workout, but you will either have to wing it or watch the DVD first (as I did).

Equipment

You will need two sets of dumbbells and a stability ball. Again, if you don't have the stability ball you can find it at reasonable prices just about anywhere and Amazon.

Workout is as follows
Fitness DVD Addiction has the breakdown here: http://www.fitnessdvdaddiction.wordpress.com/2012/01/26/supreme-90-chest-back/

The workout is about 33 minutes long. It does not have the timer to inform you how much time you have left. It has a warm and cool down. I have heard some people complain that the warm up and cool down here is the same for all workouts and not targeted to specific muscle groups.

I don't know how I feel about either. I have 3 bambinos and need time to workout so right now Supreme 90 is ahead just for the reason that it is not almost an hour long. I like P90X also because there is no hurry to get a routine done and you are encouraged to do as much as your body allows you to. I felt bad for the guy in Supreme 90. His other two team mates were standing there waiting for him to finish up as he seemed like the only one who wasn't in a rush to get every workout done.

I encourage all you dolls to check out previews on youtube before purchasing any workout dvd to make sure that they will suit your needs!!

Later sugas!!

Heavy On My Mind

Let me start off by saying I do not claim any one type of religion as my own. I do believe there is something greater than ourselves out there and when you get to the bottom of it all, most religions have the message of having love, peace, and harmony, as well as being a humanitarian among mankind.  I have been VERY fortunate to meet people of different faiths/ethnicity and learn about their beliefs and customs. It's one of the things I love about where I live. Call me very open minded, but I have a large amount of respect for people who are willing to share their world with others to learn with open arms and a smile.

Since the killings in the Connecticut elementary school, people in the media and society have been saying that America needs God back in public schools. Children need guidance when parents cannot provide it. Children need values and morals instilled in them when parents don't do it themselves. Because God has been taken out of schools, these massacres are allowed to happen. This is what is being said, not my words.

Let's backtrack for a second; I was born in Detroit, MI raised for maybe 4 years in a small town called Jackson and we use to say the "Pledge of Allegiance" as well as sing the "Our Country" at school. I vaguely remember that there were prayer sessions for some students every morning. Once I moved back to Detroit in maybe 1st-2nd grade, I noticed that those three morning "traditions" were missing and it was straight to work for us after morning announcements. I found out later that it was taken out of most schools around the US because other religions had some concerns of it.

Lately I have been thinking about the many extremists out there in quite a few religions and since hearing people saying God needs to be brought back to schools, it gives me an uneasy feeling. I don't think it is a bad idea, however, I wonder what do those who are voicing the need mean exactly? Who's God? Will it be everyone or just a certain few? Since 911, there are many who are not very friendly towards Muslims, so it leaves in my mind to wonder who will it benefit? Who will it exclude? As great as it would be to give exposure and enable all religions to coexist, sadly the reality is that there are going to be a few who will go on a fear and smear campaign and it will cause another problem in itself. And for a mother of 3? Yes I definitely want to avoid any mayhem and foolishness as I teach my children that they have the right to their own faith without prejudice. Over the years, this world has become a big melting pot of people and I sincerely hope that one day people will stop being so agoraphobic in their thinking and step outside their comfort zone and explore what they do not understand. But today, I say "They're not ready".

What Are You Waiting For?

I have always listened in wonderment when friends would say "I'm going to start x,y,a after New Years". It's as though people need 6 or so months to prepare themselves to actually do an act than to actually go ahead and just do. Why do we torture our being with attainable desires that we refuse to just reach out and touch at that moment? Why do we act as those we have forever to make something happen for us instead of just striking when we have a chance?
I use to make excuses about what I wanted or what I planned to do and would most always fall short. Why? I was either not in that frame of mind of needing to do it, meaning I really did not want it. Or I would start and not finish it. It's easy to drop a project and never come back to it. It's easy to speak defeat and be content.
Do don't it. Either start what you have your mind on and finish it or write a list out on paper and see if it's something you really have time to waste on to not see through.

I Am Woman Hear Me Roar!!!

Real women do it all but along with doing it all we tend not to do for ourselves. We often slack on our beauty, sleep, our all around health. How many times have you got up in the morning on the wrong side of the bed? How many times did you have to get up and moving and decided not to dress up but rather throw on sweats.......day after day because that outfit was convenient and comfortable? Yes, you and me both. We know those pictures that you post on Facebook and share on Instagram are in clothes you just threw on.. HA. Don't feel bad, we all do it and it just means that we have to make the time to pamper ourselves. We are living and interacting in stressful environments and sometimes we forget that we too need to keep ourselves in order as we keep the atmosphere around us normal.

I grew up in a household where vegetables had a place. I can remember my mom making baked chicken, cabbage, white rice with gravy, green beans, and a big salad. Anything we ate most ALWAYS was accompanied with a salad or some sort of vegetable. My mother would say "Eat your ruff-age" as she made collard greens with turkey necks. Oh boy!! What I am saying is that our meals were pretty balanced. For me it was just good eatin', when in fact it meant much more......

I moved to NYC when I was 18, in the fall of 2004. In a city where fast food restaurants and convenient stores are literally in your face, it is easy to get sucked into the quick, fast, hostility, and lazy lifestyle. Let's not forget, being around cultures where the diets are different. Some that are meant to have you feeling full and healthy for the whole day and some that make you look "healthy", or plump rather, and hungry within an hour. I have had a taste of both and managed to end up on the spectrum of plump. Well I wish that were the case, I ended up looking pregnant months after I had already given birth. So join me as I take this journey to get back on track with health in abundance of all things, mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual!